It’s fascinating how quiet it is now. How beautiful everything is now. I’ve said it before but it is again true, beauty can be more beautiful than even that which you thought could not become anymore beautiful.
As I sit here now in this quiet, at the end of “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2,” which is the third time through the series since I bought the DVDs before Christmas. Tomorrow I will begin the forth time, I realized that what I had been going through over the past week, even a bit longer, has been like being in a battlefield. Where, toward the end, which was the climax of the battle, thinking back to my writings during the last day or so, it was like I was shouting above all the noise and chaos as I was being filled with such passion as I had never experienced before. A passion that was my weapon in a sense against the enemy I was battling.
Thinking more about this enemy, many times we believe that we are fighting the demons are enemy within us. That, in a sense, this enemy is our own selves. The writing of my secrets wasn’t the exercising of the demon. These things aren’t the demon. Nor is it what I as fighting to become free and liberated from. The demon, the true enemy of which put up a terrible fight in the end being that, in a way, this was it’s last stand within me as I have released all of my secrets now and can now live freely as who I am, that enemy is society itself, it’s institutions, it’s religions, it’s beliefs, it propaganda and everything it uses to enter our mind and even our hearts and cause them to turn against us, against who we truly are and, ultimately, it seeks to destroy us from the inside. Our very souls if it could.
There was nothing bad in me except this of which I just described. In truth, it is the only enemy of humanity and it will be the destruction of humanity.
I have no idea what happen next. Maybe what happens to any person or people after they have been in a war for the greater part of their lives and it finally comes to an end, at least for them. They go and live in peace. Being a representative of the feminine, I have no beef or anger toward this enemy. My heart, who is of the feminine, is all forgiving. If she wasn’t, I wouldn’t be here now to tell the tale. She is the most beautiful of all beauty. The most trustworthy. The most kind and, most of all, the most loving of all that I’ve ever known or possibly, will ever know in this life and lives to come. I hope that in whatever life I might return in, she will come with me. I know she will because she is me.
Might seem strange to be in complete and total love and admiration for myself. Well, it is also strange the I, as I am here in this physical world, still needs her to guide me on, teach me of the greater things in this life and in the universe as a whole. I need her for her great love and compassion of which I am learning to emulate and become myself. Maybe this is all part of unifying the self, our lower with our higher to, in some way, break free of the cycle of all of these lives and having to endure all of these things and to be able to simply, maybe in a way, participate in the workings of the whole of everything in a different way. Maybe, in some sense, this is the ultimate goal of consciously aware beings.
Who knows if I will achieve it in this lifetime but I do know one thing, I am not much further along because of this life. I will simply continue on in this journey, free of the demon, the Satan of this world and, even though it is all around me in the final days of it’s rule over humanity, I can be at peace both within me and with it.
This is one of the aspects of love the most about the feminine and possibly the reason I adore her above all other things. It is the fact that she is infinitely forgiving. No matter how terribly she is treated, she will forgive and welcome those who once abused her back into the whole of everything with open arms and a loving hug.
Of all things in this life, I am grateful to be hers. One of her children. There is no greater and more compassionate a “ruler” than she and, even though she doesn’t desire it nor expect it in any way, as I am doing now, she deserves to be praised in the highest of ways for her greatness. Loved deeply for her grand nature. For me, she is the only one I have ever experienced where, if you give her your everything, she will do the same in return and more.
Well, I just had to write and say these things as they came to me from the quiet during the last few minutes of my third time through the Harry Potter series.