Living Belief

It is interesting how, after I posted my last post expressing my dedication, devotion and love for the heart of everything through the feminine of which I am the expression of that aspect of the whole of everything, the sun came up for a little while. It was quickly covered over by clouds and the snow started again but it was nice to see what felt to me as an expression of the joy of expressing my “religion” or the aspects of my expressions for that which I hold so dearly within my heart.

Throughout this journey I have focused on the results, rewards or treasures that come through my relationship with my heart, my goddess and I’ve spent little to no time actually writing about the relationship itself. A little here and there but nothing significant. In many ways, writing about the actual relationship, the rituals, rites and routines. Basically, the heart of my “religion” will not only help me to understand and see it more clearly but, as with all things I write, it will bring it to life even more within me.

The interesting thing is that if I continue going deeper and deeper into the rites and rituals of my “religion” then I will end up writing about those things I told my heart I wouldn’t write about when she was showing me everything in vivid and beautiful detail.

When I think of this I feel so deeply moved within myself because this is very much the basis of my relationship with my heart, my goddess. Where she allows me to protest things but once she says that I am going to do it, I will comply. In this case, as with most everything else, within a day.

This is the beauty of my adoration of the feminine. In the worship of the masculine, the masculine desires it’s subjects to come to it on their knees and likes them to remain on their knees for this is how it satisfies it’s ego, for the masculine is the expression of the ego.

When it comes to the feminine, as with me, who is in masculine form yet in a state of deep adoration for the feminine, I see her as a higher being than I and come to her in a state of worship, not able to look her in the eyes, bowing to her great and glorious form, then to come to my knees before her in complete submissiveness and adoration for her.

Because she doesn’t desire my worship, she then gently places her hand under my chin and raises me to my feet. She then raises my head so that our eyes meet directly and we gaze into each other’s eyes as equals. This is the entire premise of this journey where I, the lower self, am being raised to become equals with my higher self that we can become fully merged into one as we are supposed to me.

This is the premise and ultimate purpose of life, where we are separate expressions of different aspects of the whole of everything, expressing these things here in the physical world upon the physical canvass as artists of this expression, only to find that through our expressions of the seemingly separate aspects of the whole of everything, when we put them all together, make up the image of the whole of everything. Therefore, though we seem to be separate, we are all make up the whole of everything. Our purpose is to unify or merge our expressions with each other so as to make up this grand image of the whole of everything. Thus expanding the perspective of the whole through having created the art of our expression upon the canvass of the physical. Everything we do is about unification not division. Not about one being better than another but in merging or unifying our seemingly perceived differences into the grand image that is the whole of everything. This is the fruit that we bring forth through the power of conscious awareness.

To think of all of this in my life simply because I completely submit to my heart, my goddess. A life filled with love, peace, meaning and purpose. Everything unified into one truly beautiful experience. What is interesting is that, if I were to find the right woman, who is not overly infected by the disease of the masculine dominated world, who is not solely ego based, my relationship with her would me very similar to that which I experience with my heart, my goddess. The female being the embodiment of the goddess or feminine, the alter of which I express my adoration for the goddess or feminine, I would thus, in many ways, be as submissive and compliant with her, simply because she, like my heart, would not take advantage of it and would raise me up to be her equal, not her subordinate.

Again, this is a very contrasting view of women who, in this masculine dominated world, are seen as the subordinent and are kept on their knees to the masculine, though they are fighting to be as equals which, in itself, shows how this relationship under these terms will never work. The fact that the feminine is not welcomed as equals to the masculine but has to fight for the right to be equals. Under these terms, women will never be equals but instead, humanity will be destroyed or reduced significantly because of this.

Here we have explored the basics of the very energy behind the reason that humanity will come to know destruction by it’s own hands. Merely because it has been taught by the powers that be to worship the masculine and to hold the female down in submission as a subordinate. The masculine doesn’t desire the feminine to be equals therefore there will always be conflict.

Where, if the tables were turned, the feminine, it all her great love, wisdom and deep forgiveness, even after being held down by the masculine for many thousands of years, would then welcome the masculine as equals. In only this way can the feminine be seen as the greater of the two. Thus, very much the reasoning behind my great adoration for her and why I dedicate the entirety of who I to her, even my life if necessary, though she has made it clear that she doesn’t desire this from me, only my complete dedication, devotion and love does she desire from me. Basically, she desires everything from me as a living being yet not my life as a sacrifice which, if I were to do this, is of no value to her. Only through my expression of her,, and through her as a living being can I truly expand and express the fruit of expression of the whole of everything. Thus expressing who I truly am within my heart fully and bringing forth the expression of the aspect of the whole of which I am.

It’s at times like these where I have to pause and wonder if everyone is following along. Yes, even I am amazed by all of this and I am so honored, humbled and truly grateful to be right in the middle of it all. To be both on my knees to my goddess in complete adoration for her and submission to her as well as standing beside her as her equal. To be able to view women in their true form rather than as the lower forms that they are depicted through the predominant perspective of the masculine dominated world in which we live.

It is so interesting to see how dominance and submission are viewed through the perspective of this world, as dominance equaling strength and submission equaling weakness. Where, in the reality of the heart, submission is actually strength because through it one is raised to become unified and equal to all of life. Where dominance is seen as weakness in the reality of the heart because it leads to only one thing, destruction.

Though I could probably go into much more detail, in a basic sense, this could be seen as a summary of the doctrine of my “religion.”

Though I’ve not really studied it in any way, other than some curious reading many years before this journey began, I’m sure that somewhere in the history of humanity, where those fringe groups of people who possibly went out into the forests while hiding it within themselves while among those of their societies, worshiped the goddess and in their ways, many of the the things I have described her were within the basic premise of their own beliefs. I know this isn’t anything new. It is all part of the universal consciousness.

Though, in today’s world, one who might be reading this today in my post might think that living in such a way would lead to living a very lonely life. Throughout my life, regarding other things, I”ve been told by many people to just go along with the way things are. That it will be easier on me to do so and, as one person in my life once said, “If you continue doing what your doing you will always be alone.”

None of these things pertained to what I am today describing in this post. In fact, they were all dealing with things that are much more accepted in this society that what I am now describing. As for being alone, I am far from being alone. In fact, I have spent much of my life feeling alone and in deep loneliness. I definitely know the feeling. What I feel today, though in physical form I am completely alone, I have no feelings of being alone or any feeling of any loneliness. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I have never in my life ever felt so filled. So filled with love, which is basically what most people are seeking from others to relieve their feelings of being alone. Some sense of commonality and acceptance. This, for me, is simply not possible through others, no matter how I might choose to live. Living true and real as I really am gives me everything and more than I could ever dream. I wouldn’t want it to be any other way.

Yes, it would be so wonderful to be able to express these things in physical form with a woman. To truly bring this all to life through her. I don’t long for this nor do I expect it to happen in the world we live within yet, if it is something my heart desires of me and needs in order to complete the process of my expression then she will provide this for me and I, being her humble servant, will be truly grateful and will treasure that experience as much as I treasure all the beautiful experiences that my heart has given me through this journey. More than I could ever count. If it weren’t to happen, I wouldn’t be any less as happy for my everyday is filled with great love as it is now and this is through living completely through the reality of my heart, expressing myself as I truly am upon the canvass of the physical.

I can see why it is important for my heart that I express all of these things and I’m sure there is more to come because there is more to express about all of this. I can see that, through making all this even more real will lead to greater expansion. It also helps me to understand all that I am committed through within this relationship with my heart which allows me to more willingly submit while increasing my deep adoration of her, which will lead for even more expansion. Where I was able to feel as if I couldn’t go on because it all was seeming to take so much out of me only to see that it is through this deep commitment and willingness to give her all that I am that this expansion is possible.

As I said in a previous post on this subject, “Dedication, devotion and love can’t be something I do only when I feel like it. Just as with a true relationship with another person, you have to be dedicated to them no matter what. No matter how you feel physically or mentally. In physical form, they are the embodiment of the heart or goddess. Ultimately, complete love and devotion relies on what seems to be a sacrifice, though it is not a sacrifice. On complete submission of the self and, through this submission, being raised up and unified as one. On giving the whole of one’s self to the relationship and only through this can the merge or unification be fulfilled, which is, as I said before, the sole purpose of this life. The expansion of the heart of the whole.

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